How to talk to your boss about race without blowback

Y-Vonne Hutchinson, an international human rights lawyer and founder and CEO of ReadySet, a consultancy that helps companies with inclusivity, has had her share of disappointing bosses.

There was her first boss, for a summer job at an amusement park as a teenager, who assigned her to work janitorial duties while the “paler” teens worked in customer-facing roles; another who accused her of plagiarism because her writing was “too good” to be believably her own; and a third boss at a consultancy in France who insisted it was “not racist to throw bananas at Black people.”

Years later, Hutchinson said she can still feel her emotions from these encounters as if they were yesterday.

“There’s a lot of pain there. Because I still feel it: I still feel let down. I still feel upset,” Hutchinson told HR Brew. “I’m still astounded by the gall of some of these people [and] still angry. The trauma’s still there.”

Hutchinson wants to help young Black professionals and allies benefit from her experiences, which she writes about candidly in her new book, How to Talk to Your Boss About Race: Speaking Up Without Getting Shut Down, published this month.

Courageous Conversations. The book covers how to identify signs of racism at work, understand your power, prepare for tough conversations, handle resistance, and, as a last resort, determine an exit plan. It reads like a mix of personal memoir, a primer on critical race theory, and much needed advice from an older sister.

According to Hutchinson, one barrier to approaching a boss at all is a reluctance to label an encounter as racist. Hutchinson told HR Brew that racism likes to “waste your time” by making people of color doubt themselves. Hutchinson used to lose sleep over colleagues’ intentions, now she advises Black professionals to “always trust your gut.”

Hutchinson acknowledged that initiating a conversation involving race isn’t easy. For employees of color, Hutchinson says the topic of race is “adrenalized,” and for white employees, they may never have had the “race talk” and be afraid of getting called out or of doing the wrong thing.

Clue up. Beverly Wright, professional development coach and founder of Wright Choice Group, wants employees to know that their boss might be a bit clueless—but that doesn’t mean they aren’t open to learning. She recounted an example of a CEO calling her on Zoom and saying, “‘I don’t really know a lot of Black people. I work with some…I even mentor a couple, but I don’t know that I know them… I want to be better, and I’m not sure where I start.’”

Wright says she always asks for permission to have an uncomfortable conversation. She told HR Brew about a time in her career when she noticed people of color seemingly being passed up for promotions by a colleague she respected.

“One day after we had our regular meeting, I just said [to him], ‘I want to talk to you about something that may be uncomfortable for both of us,” Wright recalled. “But I think it's important. Is this a good time to have the conversation?’”

Coming into focus. Hutchinson takes a similar approach.

“If you’re in person, close your laptop. If you’re doing it by Zoom, put your phone away. Practice active listening…whether that’s eye contact, or reflecting back what somebody says,” Hutchinson advised. “Make sure you’re focusing on actions and not intrinsic personality traits. I never waste my time calling a person ‘racist,’ because you never know what’s in their heart. And they’re gonna keep telling you that until you stop talking, right? But you can call an action racist, you can focus on racist impact.”

Hutchinson also frames the discussion through a “calling-in” mindset—which is the polar opposite of calling-out tactics you might find on Twitter. Instead of “publicly exposing people who are causing harm,” which Hutchinson says relies on shame and exclusion, calling in builds relationships.

“Calling in is about vulnerability, education, and empathy,” Hutchinson explained. “It’s sharing your own story, talking to someone about the harm they caused, while giving them space to apologize and to get better.”

Hutchinson always ends the conversation by giving the boss an “easy win” they can do to demonstrate their commitment to working together. She also recommends employees keep in mind that dynamics likely won’t change overnight after one discussion.

When to walk away. Ariel Lopez, career coach and founder and CEO of Knac, a recruiting platform, told HR Brew that in 2022, workers often hold the cards. If the conversation doesn’t go well or bosses bristle at the discussion, Lopez said workers should remember their power given current DE&I hiring and retention initiatives, as well as in the tight labor market.

“If you are the only woman on your team, or you the only person of color on your team, you mean a lot to the organization right now,” Lopez said. “Because if you leave, then that means they’re back to having 0% diversity.”

Hutchinson said she always leaves space for change, but will read the writing on the wall if an environment is toxic. She put it in terms of self-care.

“If we’re going to sustain this movement, we have to figure out how to sustain ourselves.”—SV

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