Employees oversharing? Here’s how HR can set professional boundaries

As an HR professional, have you ever had an employee overstay their welcome in your office? Maybe they were venting too much about their boss, or telling you more about their personal life than you needed to know?

Apple TV’s Mythic Quest showcases a relatable example of what many HR pros go through when dealing with oversharing employees. The workplace comedy takes place in a video game company, where one character, dubbed “Carol from HR,” is frequently visited by employees who don’t quite know the difference between HR and therapy.

If you know what this feels like IRL, or are looking to avoid this situation in the first place, one communication expert told HR Brew how to let employees know you’re a professional resource, not a personal confidant.

Be a lifeguard. Like Ken in Barbie, your job is beach. Deborah Grayson Riegel, a communication and leadership expert who has taught at Columbia and Wharton Business Schools, told HR Brew that HR pros can approach their role like a lifeguard.

“Like in HR, a lifeguard scans the environment for early warning signs of trouble or danger, so no running,” Grayson Riegel said. “If they see something, they say something proactively, or if somebody comes to them with trouble, they listen, and they take some early action.”

She said HR pros, like lifeguards, can’t let themselves, or anyone else, get pulled under water.

Bring employees to resources. If you do happen to find yourself helping employees through a tough time, Grayson Riegel said HR pros should remember that “you are a bridge to other resources; you are not the mental health resource.”

Grayson Riegel recommended reminding employees of available resources by asking questions like, “Do you have an activity that you could do that helps you clear your head? Like running, yoga, or journaling? Do you have a certain place in your house that you go to that makes you feel relaxed?”

These are “low-hanging fruit resources” people can use, she said. Other resources may include your company’s employee assistance programs, support groups, addiction recovery specialists, gerontologists, and financial experts.

Do not disturb. While drop-ins may be welcomed, and crises come up, the sure-and-fast way to avoid unexpected visitors is to set up office hours.

“Send out a notice that says: ‘If you are having an emergency or something feels urgent, please knock on my door and, if I can answer, I will,’” Grayson Riegel said. “We also want to think about a virtual door because not everybody is colocated.”

Overall, she suggested that HR leaders always “let people know that they are there, at least as a resource for HR issues, and as a bridge to resources for personal issues.”

Got that, Carol from HR?