How HR leaders can support emotions in the workplace

Emotions have a place at work.

Emotional intelligence, or the “ability to understand and manage emotions effectively,” according to Indeed, is key to having an awareness of one’s own emotions, and empathy towards others’ emotions. In her 2019 book, No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, coauthor and illustrator Liz Fosslien discusses how to effectively express and respond to emotions at work.

She spoke with HR Brew about how people pros can support employees’ emotions—and encourage others to do the same.

“You don’t need a huge top-down initiative to help people feel better at work, to help teams combat burnout, [and] to help teams support one another,” she said. “It’s often just making people aware of these…seemingly small interactions that are causing people to feel negatively.

What are the key takeaways from your book?

For HR leaders, the most important sections are about culture and teamwork…The big thing that we cover in the culture section is how to foster this feeling of belonging, which has been shown to lead to better outcomes for all different groups of people, lead to better business outcomes, and then also help people combat burnout…It’s not the same as feeling like you fit in. It’s feeling like you’re valued for everything that makes you stand out. So, we give a lot of [examples of] micro-action, which are a friendly version of microaggressions.

What are examples of micro-actions that people can take in the workplace?

The first one, I will flag…is just spelling and pronouncing things correctly. My full name is Elisabeth, spelled with a “S,” not a “Z.” It’s in my email, [and] the amount of people who spell it with a “Z”…and it’s like, “Okay, you just didn’t take that split second to make sure that you’re getting my name right.” Pronunciation [is] also super crucial. A lot of times people won’t listen or they won’t know how to pronounce someone’s name, and then they don’t want to go through that uncomfortable moment of admitting that or they just don’t care…Research shows that if you don’t know how to pronounce someone’s name, you’re also way less likely to call on them, to invite them into the conversation, to interact with them.

Another specific example is just making it a point if you see someone get cut off in a conversation, not putting the onus on them to flag that…So, if I see that happen to someone, instead jumping in like, “Hey, I noticed that Liz was sharing, and, Liz, I’d love to continue hearing your thoughts”…really making that person feel safe in a moment when the risk is that if no one says anything, again, they don’t feel like they’re supported by the team.

Your book touches on emotional minefields. What do you mean by that?

Work is so much more complex, it’s so much more digital, [and] you don’t often get people’s body language, often you don’t know people as well because you’re working with someone across the globe that you’ve never met in person…The way that we think about what it means to be professional has not caught up with all the emotions involved with work that were always involved before, but are coming to the forefront now especially. Like, the amount of companies that promote people into a manager role and have no manager training is wild…Just because you’re good at coding does not mean you’re going to be good at helping five people work together, get the feedback they need, and feel valued by the organization.

Do you have any recommendations for how HR can train good managers?

One of the questions I’m asked a lot is…“Should I tell my managers to prioritize empathy or performance, especially when there’s a lot of uncertainty when things go really heavy?” The answer is: It’s a false dichotomy. People who are anxious are not going to perform well. So, if you’re not being empathetic, I don’t know, maybe you can run people into the ground for three weeks, but they’re going to quit [or] burnout…I think what HR leaders can do [is] have a look at holistic manager training that includes these things…where it’s like to be a good manager, you need to communicate effectively [and] you need to be an expert at your craft.